There is a level of being painfully online that is fun in an ironic sort of way, and then there is the level of online that will require new kinds of therapy in years to come. I think I’m both.

However, there are some people who take the latter category to new extremes. 

I’m back with another week of discourses I hated—many of which were extremely painful, but here we are. 

Let’s get into it.

Weird crying Youtube mom

In recent years we have seen the clout-chasing antics of influencers and Youtubers reach an all time high, with many of them using absurd tactics in order to increase their reach and viewership.

This week, one Youtuber mom became a case study in absolutely absurd parenting, when she uploaded a video with her son talking about their puppy that had died. 

In the video that the mom uploaded, she forgot to edit out clips of herself telling her son to cry more so that they could get more views. 

She is seen practicing her crying face and telling her son to “look sad,” as she pulls him in closer, trying to get the right angle.

I don’t know what category of therapy this child is going to need, but being forced to perform your grief for views on the internet is really on an entirely different level. 

Men are managing to be shitty even in the Metaverse?

People have been talking a lot about the metaverse and the move to a more AI-powered world, with many discussing how revolutionary this will be. The metaverse is essentially a virtual place for real-life experiences, through virtual and augmented reality.

However, one thing that has become immensely clear is that nothing is revolutionary enough to stop shitty men from being shitty.

An AI-powered app called Replika “lets users create chatbots, powered by machine learning, that can carry on almost-coherent text conversations.”

The chatbots can act as friends, mentors, or in many cases, romantic or sexual partners, that imitate real life interactions.

According to an article from Futurism, however, many men are abusing their AI partners and then posting the interactions on Reddit. 

“Some users brag about calling their chatbot gendered slurs, roleplaying horrific violence against them, and even falling into the cycle of abuse that often characterizes real-world abusive relationships."

It’s gross that with the vast ability to do so much with technology, that men are taking the opportunity to live out their twisted fantasies that involve degrading women, and they are doing so with pleasure.

If the only place you feel like a powerful man is in an AI-powered fictional world and relationship, maybe you should evaluate what that says about you. 

Megan and MGK won’t quit

I thought I was done talking about these two after the whole blood drinking thing from last week, but they just willingly keep offering up more and more information about themselves that no one asked for. 

After popping the question last week, MGK revealed this week that the engagement ring he purchased for his now fiancé Megan, has thorns on the inside. 

“The bands are actually thorns. So if she tries to take it off, it hurts… Love is pain.”

Again, I could’ve gone my whole life without knowing this piece of information about these people, but now we are all too invested.

Many on Twitter pointed out that everything about this couple screams like a viral Tumblr quote from the 2010s, and honestly, to me it seems like they are trying to be bizarre for sport, just to see how far they can push it.

Anyways, bless them both.

People getting mad about weddings

Speaking of weddings…a tweet from Burnaby Beacon Managing Editor Simran Singh caused quite the stir, after she shared a seemingly innocent anecdote about Indian weddings.

She’s right. If a wedding is safe and things are being done within reason, which is clearly what she was saying, it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal. 

The responses and quote tweets however, had people in shambles. 

“I don’t care if you’re purple , blue or green . It has to do with the music shaking my house,” said one response.

Let me tell you something. Any time a white person says “I don’t care if you’re purple, blue or green,” they either just said something racist, or they are about to say something racist.

We are not purple, blue, or green, good sir. We are brown. And that’s why you have a problem. 

Most of the people in the replies missed the point of Singh’s original tweet entirely. All she was saying was that we can all get along, and that it’s never good form to be the shady neighbour.

Instead, it led to many people clutching their pearls and crying about bylaws. Oh goodness! Don’t forget the bylaws!!!

My favourite response comes from Manveer Singh, who so perfectly dragged some of those in the responses.

OOP.

Men love to complain about hypotheticals that don’t concern them

Men like this make me roll my eyes so far back into my head. “What am I going to do with a wife who has so many degrees but doesn’t know how to cook?!”

Brother. You literally do not need to worry about this. That caliber of woman is certainly not looking for you, or even in your direction, I assure you. 

Sexist men strangely love to talk about the expectations they have for their hypothetical future wives or girlfriends, all while remaining painfully single. They try to police women into behaving in ways that they deem desirable, while remaining wholly undesirable themselves. It’s a talent, really.

Let me give you some free game: if you chill with the hypotheticals and focus more on learning how to do your own laundry, making your own dinner, and spending less time sharing thoughts no one asked for online, maybe you’d be able to get a girl to actually talk to you. 

And for the record, those of us with multiple degrees are likely to find partners who are 1) willing to make us dinner, and 2) aren’t posting dumb shit like this on the internet.

Good day, sir.  

Abolish men with podcasts

I know much of today’s list has been dedicated to insufferable men but that is simply the cards we were dealt this week.

It’s been said many times before but I am going to say it again. 99% of the men with podcasts need to reevaluate their life choices. 

Having a microphone doesn’t mean you know what you’re talking about, and in many cases, many of these men are just being so loud and so wrong. 

A few podcast clips went viral this week, reminding us all why men need to focus more on building houses or something, and less on sharing opinions no one asked for, particularly when they are entirely rooted in degrading and belittling women.

What the men were saying in the various clips that went viral aren’t as relevant as the fact that they manage to speak authoritatively while saying complete and utter bullshit. Again, the talent and undeniable confidence is astounding. 

In one clip, one of these men goes on to say that if a woman cheats on her partner it is unforgivable, but if a man does it it’s “not that big of a deal.” The thought that he thinks he can get not one but two women to sleep with him is absolutely astounding to me in and of itself. 

I feel like any time a man tries to buy a podcast microphone they should be required to share a few of their hot takes before they are allowed to make the purchase—like a background check for podcasters. Because, at this rate, we can’t keep going on like this.

To end off this week, I leave you with this Rolling Stone article entitled “Let the Green M&M Be a Nasty Little Slut.” 

If you’ve seen any discourse about M&Ms and have been confused, that should answer any and all of your questions.

Have a nice weekend y’all and I’ll be pissed off about more things next week.

xoxox.

- R