This week felt extremely long. It might be because we have all been reliving the same day over and over since March 2020 and things have somehow gotten worse and not better, but I digress.

The only way I really keep track of the passage of time and stay sane (debatable) is by distracting myself with the dumb stuff that goes viral on the internet. So, I’m back with the list of things I hated and loved to hate this week.

There were so many delightful things to choose from, so let’s waste no time.

Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly

Although everything we know about this couple is against our will, I simply cannot look away. Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly got engaged this week, with MGK sporting a Foot Locker-esque outfit as he popped the question to Fox under a banyan tree in Puerto Rico. 

Fox posted a loving, heartfelt message about their love that ended with her mentioning that the pair “drank each other’s blood,” after she said yes. Depending on how immersed you are in the pop culture world, you may also feel a faint nostalgia when you see how unhinged Fox and MGK are, and recall that Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton (tbt) also wore vials of each other’s blood around their neck. 

The blood drinking is comparatively not that weird when you think about how MGK’s first words to Megan when they met were, “I am weed.”

Anyways, congrats to the happy couple.

Wife shovelling the driveway guy 

I have dealt with many aint-shit-ass-men™ in my short lifetime, but this week, one guy really took the cake.

An MLA from Winnipeg named Jon Reyes shared a picture of his wife shovelling their driveway after a “12-hour night shift at the hospital.” Many on social media took to roasting Reyes, inquiring as to why he sat around and took a photo instead of helping his wife in the first place. 

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He thought that it was a redeeming statement to mention that he was making her breakfast while she was outside alone in the -25 Winnipeg weather, but many pointed out that he should have made breakfast for her anyways when she came home from a 12-hour shift. 

What do you call the opposite of bare minimum? Because that is whatever this was: trying to flex for social media while inadvertently proving how utterly useless you are. 

Personally, I am a feminist until it comes to shovelling the driveway, so this man’s wife is definitely stronger than me because he sucks and I would’ve left him and taken the shovel with me.

Kodak Black at the Canucks game 

Rapper Kodak Black made headlines this week at a Canucks game in Florida after he was seen… doing something with his date in their executive suite during the game. 

Videos from social media showed what appeared to be Kodak fornicating in the suite, and naturally, social media was all over it.

After a second look, another angle shows that the rapper and his date were just “dancing” and not having sex during the game, but the internet was already having a field day. The NHL tried to get ahead of it by deleting a tweet they shared with an image of Kodak at the game, but it was too late.

Truly, nothing is sacred anymore.

Jamie Lynn Spears 

Protect Britney Spears at all costs. That is the motive and always will be.

This week, Spears’ sister Jamie Lynn did a sit down interview with Good Morning America to promote her upcoming book, which discusses her relationship with her sister. It appears that Jamie is trying to capitalize on the attention her and her family were receiving shortly after the end of Britney’s infamous conservatorship, which lasted 13 years. 

After the GMA interview, Spears spoke out about Jamie Lynn’s statements, which attempted to paint Britney as out of control. 

Britney ended her statement with an iconic line, showing that despite Jamie Lynn’s involvement in her conservatorship, the lack of support she gave Britney afterwards, and these attempts to now profit off the situation, she remains unbothered.

“Hope your book does well, Jamie Lynn!”

On Friday, Spears released a second statement addressing Jamie’s allegations, and calling her out for “stooping so low” and repeatedly coming after her despite Britney quite literally giving her a (short lived) career. 

Misogynists find out that women’s issues are relevant to society

Honourable mention to the people in the quote tweets of this article about the underrepresentation of brown women in the Punjabi music industry.

My favourite response when misogynists ask if women’s issues are news, is that yes, things that are relevant to women are also important to discuss even if you personally aren’t impacted, or personally don’t care about women. The way women are treated in the various facets of our society often reflect deeper ills in our society and culture that don’t get fixed if we diminish women’s experiences and thoughts as “not important enough.” 

I usually don’t respond to trolls because while I get paid to write, I don’t get paid to read their nonsense. But if you want to argue though, run me a cheque and I’ll see if I can fit you in the calendar. I don’t argue for free.

Anyways, that’s all for this week. Or, it’s just all I have energy to be annoyed about.

I leave you all with this cursed video of Kanye West, Julia Fox, Madonna, Floyd Mayweather and Antonio Brown. The vibes in this room are awful and honestly reflect the current vibes overall.

Simply put, I hate it here. 

- Rumneek