Hi again.

It’s time once again to round up the discourses I hated and loved to hate this week. While there are so many things that come across my timeline each week, this series rounds up the ones that had me positively flabbergasted, and brings them to all of you. 

I’d say that me rounding up this nonsense so you don’t have to is quite a noble pursuit, but it’s really just a natural byproduct of my inability to log off the internet.

But, this week, Discourses I Hated, and your very own 5XPress, got a really cool feature in the Vancouver Sun. You can read it here. 

And if by some strange reason you’re not yet signed up for our newsletter, you can do it at the bottom of the 5XPress homepage.

Anyways, off we go.

Take your damn shoes off

An absolutely absurd op-ed in the Wall Street Journal this week suggested that people should keep their shoes on when entering other people’s homes—even if they have requested that they be removed.

The article title is, “Here’s Why I’ll Be Keeping My Shoes on in Your Shoeless Home,” which in and of itself, is quite damning. 

You’re trying to tell me you’re going to come into my home, and refuse to remove your shoes, despite me asking? I think not. 

How dirty and nasty and musty is it to suggest that you can bring your shoes into someone’s home without knowing what you’ve stepped in all day? Sure you might think they’re clean, but scientists have looked into how nasty they really are, and they found that most of the time, there is fecal matter on the bottom of your shoes.

So sure, if you want to parade your poop shoes around your own house, knock yourself out, but you absolutely won’t be doing it in my home. 

Don’t be gross, it literally costs zero dollars.

Ok one last thing on this. Not only is it entitled to bring your shoes into someone's house against their wishes, but to then be given space in a column to write about it?! Someone was paid money to write this, and the article itself is behind a paywall. 

There are people who are paying to read about defending their right to have poopy shoes in my house? This a real thing someone received money for? 

I hate it here. 

Joe Rogan

Speaking of people who would absolutely walk into your house with their poop shoes on, let’s talk about Joe Rogan.

I truly detest giving this man any more print space than needed, but the events of the past week are worth discussing. The Joe Rogan/Spotify saga began after multiple podcast hosts and artists called on the streaming platform to reconsider their $100-million dollar podcasting deal with Rogan. This was in response to Rogan continually spreading misinformation and platforming right-wing personalities on his podcast. However, Spotify sided with Rogan, and agreed to remove the content of the creators and musicians who no longer wanted to be affiliated with them as a result. 

This week, numerous videos of Joe Rogan using the N-word surfaced on social media, prompting up to 70 episodes of his podcast to be removed from Spotify.

According to the Washington Post, “Spotify’s chief executive said it was Rogan’s decision to remove episodes of “The Joe Rogan Experience” from the platform following discussions with the company about “some of the content in his show, including his history of using some racially insensitive language.”

Rogan issued an apology on Instagram. ​​"I know that to most people, there's no context where a White person is ever allowed to say that, never mind publicly on a podcast, and I agree with that," he said. "Now, I haven't said it in years.”

Rogan used the word more than 20 times, and also compared a Black neighbourhood to the Planet of the Apes movie. 

After the incident, Spotify’s CEO announced that the company will be investing $100 million into “historically marginalized groups.”

Many on Twitter pointed out how absurd this was, given that it was a reactive, not proactive action, just to quell the PR nightmare. 

In addition, the platform is asking to split $100 million between marginalized creators, which is the same amount they gave to Rogan alone.

What’s even more wild is the fact that Rogan and his fans will try and reduce this down to “cancel culture,” when in fact, it is just the result of him being held accountable for his words and actions. Regardless, though, there is always going to be an army of the entitled willing to come to his defense, no matter how offensive his statements. 

A number of white comedians came forward to stand with Rogan, which is quite ironic to see a group of white people defending someone for racism that they have never been victims to.

But if the truckers convoy wasn’t proof enough, it’s clear that the rules only apply to some of us. Rogan will come out of this unscathed and his legions of fans will continue to hang on his every word as he profits immensely, while communities of colour are thrown chump change in “compensation.” And the cycle continues. 

Kid Carson

While we’re on the whole “bald men who should've never been given a microphone” note, Kid Carson was in the headlines this week. The former radio host in Vancouver was let go from his gig at Z95.3 radio for a rant about “the trucker protests, vaccine mandates, and the media in Canada.”

“If you think the Freedom Convoy in Ottawa is a racist movement, you have been tricked. You have been fooled. Ya know? What we need to realize is that it takes real eyes to recognize real lies. This isn’t about race, or health, or Nazi flag, or masks. It’s about trying to keep our children off a digital ID that will control every aspect of their lives. That can be switched off at anytime.”

The “don’t trust the media,” crowd always makes me laugh because they say this while resharing something written by the media, but it’s quite rich to see Carson essentially calling himself out.

He also took the time to plug his podcast, where people can subscribe to hear him share his “unfiltered,” thoughts that he was unable to share on the radio.

Also, we didn’t even want to listen while it was for free on the radio…so who is actually going to pay for this? I can have plenty of people tell me misinformation about being microchipped for zero dollars, I’ll tell you that much.

Bye Kid.

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard

I miss the days when celebrities tried to be mysterious and didn’t offer up information no one asked for in order to try and be relatable. Because most of the time, in their effort to seem chill and “just like the rest of us,” they reveal things about themselves and their ways of life that would disgust most humans.

This week, Kristen Bell revealed on her husband Dax Shepard’s podcast that her entire family sleeps in the same bedroom. That in and of itself wasn’t the problem, but Bell went on to share that herself, Shepard, and their two children, all have excessive gas problems.

Because of this, she said the family didn’t realize that there was a rotting smell coming from their mattress pad. The odour of the mattress was so strong that she said it smelled “like burning garbage.” 

If this was a situation that I found myself in through some strange circumstances, I would take this story with me to the grave. 

To openly tell people that your family is just out here stinking up the room to the point where you can’t distinguish between your gas and burning garbage coming from your mattress is an extremely alarming confession. Like, what are you guys eating?! 

Bell and Shepard also revealed in an interview last year that they wait "for the stink" until bathing their kids. As in, they do not regularly bathe their children. As in, unless there is a putrid odor coming from their kids, they choose to not wash them.

The pair weren’t the only celebrities to share that they don’t bathe their children, with Mila Kunis and husband Ashton Kutcher also sharing that they don’t bathe their kids unless they “see dirt on them.”‍

Again, there are some things you don’t have to tell us. Just shower before you come over and take your shoes off when you walk into our house and there won’t be a problem. 

FluTruxKlan 

No we aren’t done talking about it because the white supremacists & co are not done being entitled and claiming they’re oppressed.

For the ones who say that the protests are more about freedom than anything, here’s a video of a truckers convoy supporter who is fighting for his so called “freedom,” by comparing health measures in Canada to the Holocaust. 

Convoy supporters are complaining that they are unable to go skiing or go shopping (all of which they can do), and saying that the situation in Canada is like being in “Hitler’s Germany.”

These are the people who are blocking roads and highways, blocking border crossings, causing strife to regular Canadians, and not to mention, using children as human shields.

In addition to this, according to CBC, “126 criminal investigations are underway and more than 400 hate incidents have been reported to the Ottawa Police Service's hotline.”

Since the “they’re not all white supremacists,” crowd has been extremely vocal in trying to clarify that the convoy is not entirely comprised of racists, I would absolutely love to have one of you explain all of the above to me. 

On Friday, Ontario Premier Doug Ford officially declared a province-wide state of emergency, calling the protests an “illegal occupation.” 

Regardless of the timeline in which the protests end, it has given us a reminder of what Indigenous folks and racialized people in this country have known all along: that our lives, voices, needs, and issues will never be as protected as entitled white people who think the rules don’t apply to them.

Anyways, that’s all from me. 

Catch ya next week, and don’t forget to follow 5XFest on Twitter. 

Byeeeee

- R